Ewing (September 11) -- In response to today's tragedy, several members of the Department of Elementary and Early Childhood Education at The College of New Jersey gathered to provide suggestions for helping both children and adults deal with this situation.

Here are some thoughts:

1. Use extreme sensitivity when discussing the terrorist attacks. Depending on the age of the child, discuss the incidents at their cognitive level. Preschoolers might not understand the final nature of the tragedy.

2.Talk about what's real and what's fantasy. They may have difficulty conceptualizing what happened. Talk about things like a pet dying and not coming to life again or a plant or flower dying. Books you can share include "The Dead Bird" by Margaret Wise Brown, "The Tenth Good Thing about Barney" by Judith Viorst, "Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs" by Tomie dePaola, "Sweet, Sweet Memory" by Jacqueline Woodson and "Granddad Bill's Song" by Jane Yolen. With older children you might prefer to discuss the issue as a current event. Books to share include "One April Morning" by Nancy Lamb and "On the Wings of Peace" edited by Sheila Hamanaka. Teachers might refer to "Learning the Skills of Peacemaking" by Naomi Drew or "Starting Small" from the Teaching Tolerance Project. Log onto http://www.unf.edu/~astomfay/indexnewsletters.htm to find newsletters and references for the classroom.

3. Today's events are quite violent. Watch television with children but limit the amount of times they see today's events unfolding. Excessive exposure to the events is not necessary. Discuss what has happened, no matter how long it takes. Listen carefully to what the child says. Your response will be based on what you've heard. Be cautious, use common sense, and let the child know that it is difficult for adults, as well as children, to conceptualize and handle what has happened.

4. Allow children to grieve and participate as members of the community. Ask them to provide suggestions for preventing future incidents, and invite them to join organized problem-solving efforts, such as a diversity group. 

5. For teachers, today's events are part of social studies. Most texts focus on wars. We need to focus on the other side, talking to youngsters about peace education, peacemaking, conflict resolution, and peer mediation. We should talk about how this is done between individuals and among countries.

6. "Remember, respect is the cornerstone of all our interactions and behaviors. We acknowledge the dignity and worth of one another and strive never to diminish another by our conduct or our attitudes." (Source: Mariner H.S. in Everett, Washington).

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