"He's my other half!"

"We're just like two peas in a pod!"

When I was growing up throughout the 80s and 90s, these phrases were as common in television shows and movies as the terms "bogus" and "radical." Although these terms have been obliterated from daily conversation, preaching about and discussing the hunt for a soulmate, of for "the perfect man or woman" as many called it, is still prevalent today. I, along with many other young girls, was surrounded by this phenomenon daily. And even though my family didn't speak of romantic love very often, it became embedded in my mind that there was one guy out there for me, my soulmate, and I would eventually find him just as Ariel, a Disney character that I absolutely adored as a child, had found her true love, Prince Eric, in The Little Mermaid. Of course, Ariel as well as other fictional characters, found theirs after only a couple of weeks or even days of searching. But I was too young to contemplate the likeliness of  that happening in the "real world."

By the time I hit high school, I knew my childish dreams of finding my own Prince Eric were long gone. I began watching "Beverly Hills 90210" routinely and witnessed how impossible it was to find your true soul mate. Brenda, for example, thought she found her soulmate more than three times! And let's not even start to count the number of times Kelly thought she found hers!

Then, as my adolescent years rolled by, and I began to think rationally -- at least as rational as a 19-year-old can think-- I realized that there probably was one person out there for me. There had to be. At that point, I had only been able to identify my soulmate as the man I was destined to marry. But a part of me wanted to believe that the fairy tales and Disney movies were true. So, I began investigating and searching for factual information that would allow me to find out the truth behind all the love stories I saw on television and in movies. And it turns out that many psychologists do agree that there is one person we are destined to be with in the future. In fact, many even believe that there may be more than one soul mate out there for us.

This phenomenon has roots embedded in ancient beliefs. In Plato's Symposium (Oxford University Press, 1994), Aristophanes, and Athenian playwright, spoke of the potential theory for the origination of soulmates. He believed that the original nature of man was nothing like we are now. Instead, the race was divided into three sexes: male, female, and hermaphrodite. Each had four arms, four legs, two faces, four ears, and two allocations of genitalia. Zeus, however, cut these creatures in half, transforming them into the stature of current man with two arms, two legs, one face, two ears, and one allocation of genitalia, to rid the land of their extreme strength and arrogance.

Once the bisection was complete, the woman half who was a slice of the original female sex was attracted to women rather than men. On the other hand, the man half who was a slice of the original male sex was attracted to men rather than to women. Homosexuality was the result in both of these cases. However, the man half who was a slice of the original hermaphrodite sex was attracted to women and vice versa. This came to be known as heterosexuality. But each half desperately yearned for the other half, its soulmate perhaps.

Aristophanes wrote, "And so, when this boy lover-- or any lover, for that matter -- is fortunate enough to meet his other half, they are both so intoxicated with affection, with friendship, and with love, that they cannot bear to let each other out of sight for a single instant."

Brenda Walsh and the rest of the "90210" gang would probably have found this theory to be a hoax. Yet Arielle Ford, author of Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover, (Plume, 2001), a book consisting of 101 true stories of how soulmates met, considers this historical perspective of soulmates according to Plato to be accurate.

Yet Ford adds an interesting twist to the idea of soulmates. She things that a soulmate can be a lover, a child, a best friend, a co-worker, or even a pet.

"I believe we can and often do have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. I currently have two -- my husband Brian and my 20 pound cat J.B.," said Ford.

Dr. Wes Patterson, a Miami based psychologist and hypnotherapist, also believes that there are hundreds, maybe even thousands of soulmates for one person. Specializing in the hypnotic state, Patterson takes subjects back to past lives where he finds the same people in one's current life play many different roles in past lives.

"When I take them back to past lives, I will ask them if they recognize anyone in that life from their present life. Frequently, a husband in this life was a brother in a past life," said Patterson.

Yet Patterson is skeptical of ancient theories explaining the origin of the phenomenon of soulmates. Instead, he believes that they are solely myths and that the truth comes about when you "flip back through the pages of time" through the use of hypnotherapy.

According to Maurie D. Pressman, M.D., the medical director and founder of the Pressman Center for Mind/Body Wellness, a clinic in Philadelphia focusing on spiritual psychotherapy and the exploration of the human soul, locating your soulmate is inevitable and determined by a higher being or "the Great Creator" -- God. He believes that some couples become impatient or are ill believers of the phenomena. As a result, finding "the perfect man or woman" is delayed.

Often people try to make something real that isn't real Pressman also says. They try to see love when it is not to be seen. He recalled a patient who wanted very much to marry and finally met a woman with whom he felt "comfortable." However, they lacked one of the most essential elements of a relationship -- passion as a couple. The patient wanted to believe that the woman was the one for him and he therefore decided to propose. Everyone was happy, especially their friends and family, but he was not. He ended the relationship eventually and, with some patience, found someone he loved passionately.

"Of course there were trials and tribulations," said Pressman. "There always are as long as we are 'in the skin of personality.' But they were minor compared to the overall attraction, fit, and love-satisfaction."

But when and how can we find our soulmates? Will they suddenly appear like Superman? Or wash ashore like Prince Eric? Probably not. But Pressman attests that one must be patient in waiting for the right relationship. One must take the time to test the relationship at hand before committing and must also listen to intuition. Pressman also says that we will be able to find our soulmate "by blending intuition with common sense knowledge, patience, and the opportunity to experience in life whether the relationship is truly pre-destined or simply the product of one's love-longing." That is the key to finding a true spiritual partner.

Ford, however, has prepared a detailed recipe designed to make your own "hot chocolate":

1. Add a touch of prepartion- You must be ready for a soulmate. If you have had a string of bad relationships or have been through a bad divorce or are still grieving the loss of a spouse, get yourself to therapy or counseling and heal your heart.
2. 2 tablespoons of what melts your butter- Make a list of what you want and be specific. Include things like "I want someone who is available," "I want someone who is willing to live in my city," "I want someone who is straight or gay" (depending on your preference). You must be very specific! Once you have made your list, have a good friend check it over to make sure you haven't left anything out.
3. 1 teaspoon of a ritual- Once the list is ready, create a ritual for yourself. This can be as simple as lighting a candle and saying a prayer and putting your list in a bible or it can be an elaborate pagan love spell. You can even burn the list and scatter the ashes over a body of water. The ritual can be whatever you are most comfortable with.
4. 2 cups of patience- Be patient and savor the waiting. It's not up to you to know WHEN or WHERE or HOW you and your beloved are to meet, it's only up to your to be ready, receptive, open, and happy. Have a great life and savor the waiting without being desperate.

In addition, Patterson believes that you must make yourself available to people in all situations, whether academic or social. Using this process, you too, in time, will be able to find your soulmate, or possibly even your soulmates.

Yet children and young adults will question the appearance of their soulmate for years to come, just as I did, as they continue to be surrounded by representations of perfect couples. Instead of Zack and Kelly on "Saved By the Bell," they have Pacey and Joey of "Dawson's Creek." Even still, we mature and older viewers are reminded of the concept of "the perfect man" even when we watch "Friends," once a safe have from love and serious relationships. But now that we know the recipe for finding our soulmate, there is one less thing to worry about as we grow. We can now embark on the journey in search for our other half. Good luck!