Every ticket sold should come with a type of concert rule book filled with do’s and don’ts, warnings and advice to guide the average concert goer. Having gone to five pop concerts over the past three years I will share what I’ve learned in the hopes that I may save some poor soul from forgetting their ear plugs or maybe their fourth role of film.

Rule #10

Dress comfortably. There’s no need to wear dress clothes, three-inch heals, a Clinique counter amount of make-up, your good jewelry or even get your hair done. If you are trying to attract your favorite member of the band or maybe even the entire band, don’t bother. Chances are they will not see you…unless you were lucky enough to score front row seats or backstage passes. In which case, hook me up! Just dress according to the weather, especially if you are going to be outdoors. Wear comfortable shoes so you don’t falter when you are standing on those seats. I highly recommend running shoes for when you’re trying to dodge security or really big bodyguards to get a closer picture. Comfy light clothes you’re not too attached to might be best. It never ceases to amaze me how girls will sacrifice comfort in the name of beauty. I admit I’m guilty of it myself on occasion.

I wore new sandals that made me three inches taller to a concert in Giants Stadium, not that I wasn’t taller than most of the kids around me already. The pain those shoes inflicted from standing for about four hours was unbearable. I’ve seen girls dressed in club pants and tube tops and they looked like they couldn’t have been a day over ten. My mother gives me disapproving looks when I wear tops like that now and I’m 21. My older cousin Steven tagged along with my cousin Gina and I to a concert at Hershey Park, Pennsylvania. It rained that day and the bleachers were wet. We used his undershirt to wipe them clean, not something you want to do with your favorite shirt.

Rule #9

Bring a camera. You probably knew this already but I’m going to expand upon this rule. Bring tons of film because you will be taking tons of pictures and if cameras are not allowed the concert security may take your film at the least. If you’re worried they’ll take the camera don’t bring your father’s $200 one. If you risk it, tape it to your shin and wear baggy jeans to hide it.

I finally managed to bring a good camera with a zoom lens to the concert I attended in Giants Stadium. But I only brought two roles of film, which were done by the middle of the concert. I’m very upset with myself that I ran out of film before I could tape JC (of *NSYNC) dressed in Velcro stuck to a wall or Chris (also of *NSYNC) singing a solo which is as rare as a quiet concert attendee. Which brings me to…

Rule #8

Bring earplugs or cotton balls. You will still be able to hear the musicians (who have plugs of their own). The plugs and/or cotton will only save your hearing from permanent damage.

I watched my third concert standing in front of two young girls who stood on my bleacher. For three days all I could hear was a sharp ringing. The shrieks of small children at ear level are enough to make you cry. My brain was rattling following every scream of approval. Personally I find it frightening that kids that have yet to hit junior high would scream over thrusting hips and provocative gyrations like women at a strip club.

Rule #7

Find out what the venue allows. Check out their web site to learn what their rules are. Some don’t allow posters and such. Some don’t allow cameras and will pat you down like you’re visiting a relative in jail. Learning the rules saves effort on your part and money for all that glitter and poster board or the cost of replacing Dad’s camera when the people at the gate take it.

When I went to PNC Bank Art Center in Holmdel, New Jersey security took posters at the gate. Thank God. There’s nothing worse than a poster professing undying love beside a picture of the musician’s face (in case he forgot what he looked like?) especially when it’s blocking your view. Scratch that, if it’s blocking my view.

Rule #6

Bring lots and lots of water. Dehydration can be a problem, especially in the summer months and nothing soothes a parched throat better than some ice cold water. Toss it in the freezer before the show so that it melts by the time you are screaming or singing your lungs out. The water may also come in handy for other things. (This is assuming you’re allowed to bring water bottles into the venue.)

My mother toted what seemed like the entire water isle in the supermarket to PNC Bank Arts Center. While there I used water to wet my hair back in the heat. I also had to use it to wipe the red lipstick off my arm. Yes, you heard right. Red lipstick. Some random fan thought it be cute if she scrolled the names of every guy in *NSYNC on her arm and then rushed with all the other fans into the arena. When it got a bit crowded I was branded with red ‘J’s and the kind of splotches you see on a last minute Halloween costume. I’ve also used water and tissues to clean spilt soda from a seat in Madison Square Garden after I had already sat in it.

Rule #5

Know your surroundings. If you are prone to saying things you shouldn’t like I am be aware of those standing beside you. For the most part no one will hear your babbles and occasional vulgar slips. Sadly people half your age may be saying them too. If you go with a parent stick a friend in the seat between you and that parental unit.

Overwhelmed at my first concert I said a few things I probably shouldn’t have said standing beside the woman that gave birth to me. My cousin who was on the other side of me was safe from her warning eyes. I only shrugged and told myself that it wasn’t my fault and blamed the choreography and to some extent the clothing.

Rule #4

Bring souvenir money. Sure you go in saying “I’m not gonna buy a cheesy program or a T-shirt.” “They’re too expensive.” and “Do I look like a teenybopper to you?” I know I am and I’ve wasted money on much worse. Think of the merchandise as mementos meant to remind you of a fun experience. Trust me and bring at least a twenty.

I made it tradition to buy a program every tour. In 2001 when I went to Giants Stadium to see *NSYNC I had planned to continue the tradition. My cousin Gina took the road of denial and was adamant that she wasn’t going to buy anything. Then she saw the flattering pictures in the program and it was all down hill from there. I should have sold some of my hair like Fantine in Les Miserables to buy her the program. She probably would have found me scissors.

Rule #3

Plan a meeting place. In case you get separated when the crowds file out of the venue or if you’re getting dropped off plan a place to meet your ride. There are just too many people to be looking for one amongst the chaos.

All of the concerts I’ve attended ended in the evening and the people I went with had to link arms to get out in one piece and together. At Giants Stadium Gina and I sat on top of a cement block at the exact spot my father dropped us off.

Rule #2

Don’t fake an illness thinking it will get you into the venue earlier than anyone else. It can backfire if you've got a worrisome mother that does not know your devious plan. If you’re not careful you may end up in an ambulance just as the house lights go down and music cues. Instead of the shriek of the fans you will hear the shriek of the sirens.

I’ve seen a girl feign some sort of attack to get in front of a line and I have heard stories of girls actually getting into a venue before everyone else as a result of such acts. But I would not risk it. Your seat will still be there even if you have to wait. And let’s say you plot to pass out within the gates thinking it will get that artist’s attention during sound check. Your favorite is not going to revive you and whisk you away. Trust me. If that were true my cousin and I would have tried that a long time ago.

Rule #1

DO NOT FORGET THE TICKETS. If you do the other rules are not worth reading and my advice is for naught. Be paranoid like I am and double check every five seconds till you are in the venue.