After about two years of denying the genius that is AOL Instant Messenger, I finally gave in to peer pressure and created my own screen name. One tiny taste and I was hooked, and now, two years later, I’ve created another. But I’ve discovered this AIM service has revolutionized more than just the way we communicate with each other, it has changed the dynamics of our relationships.

Once upon a time, long before AIM, you actually had to talk with someone to learn about their character. Little by little, information about their favorite songs, personal creeds, friends and family and goals were divulged through hours of conversation. Now, you just have to sign on. By reading someone’s AIM profile, you can learn more about them in 200 characters than in 200 minutes of conversation: quotes that reflect their personality, humorous incidences with their friends, even if they’re trying to quit smoking or any other strange occurrence in their lives. And all can be learned through one click of the buddy list. Get a screen name and you get a personal fact sheet right along with it. Instant messaging has created a forum where practical strangers can learn the most intimate details about each other in mere seconds.

As the relationship moves from strangers to friends, these intimate details get a bit muckier. Let’s say you and a newly found amour have a little falling-out one night. What do you do first thing the next morning? You edit your profile: hit "enter" a couple times, drop down to the last line in the edit box, minimize your font to barely readable and type the most cryptic two lines you could find on the lyrics search engine. Maybe something like: “And now just as things change/As well my feelings do…” (from Blink 182 for all who wondered). And don’t forget those ellipses—they’re the most important indicator that your words are referring to a certain someone.

Now, we’ve all been that “certain someone” at least once. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You wake up after this little spat and as you prepare to create you own hidden message, you check your friend’s profile and see they’ve beaten you to it… you think. Are they referring to you? Replaying the fight in your head you think those lines relate, but you can never be absolutely sure. So you’re left wondering…

Another aspect of AIM, however, aspires to alleviate some of that confusion. Ok, you’ve had this little disagreement and cryptic messages (might) have been posted. So now, where exactly is your alienated lover? “Gym till 11, lunch with J at 12:30, group meeting 2-4, back to the room to study.” Or so says the away message, IM’s perpetual person tracker. Through the away message, you can keep track of someone’s daily activity, discover the mood they’re in that day or read the funny story about what happened to them on the way back from class.

We all wonder what someone is doing but AIM lets us find out. And this is perhaps the most addicting feature of this compulsive service. I have considered creating a group called Away Messengers Anonymous specifically for those who sit and just read “aways.” And we’d all be members, wouldn’t we folks? People are by nature nosy, and this is just the relief our prying little minds need.

Before AIM, things like this just didn’t happen. You had to put in face-time to learn someone’s favorite motto. If you had a falling out with someone you either let it go or told them what was bothering you. And if someone wasn’t in their room you had to wait until they got back to find out where they were.

Yes, I remember, long ago, when you had to actually talk to someone or use the telephone to communicate. Those were the days when you spoke without delay, without the luxury of planning what you were going to type and reviewing your words before you hit “enter.” You didn’t have to inform others you’re “j/k” (just kidding) or “lol” (laughing out loud), because they could hear the tone of your voice or see that you were laughing. Yes, it was a much simpler time before AIM, when we actually smiled instead of using pre-fabricated smiley faces but technology does tend to complicate matters along with the benefits it provides.