I am a young woman in college, Caucasian, and currently without a religious affiliation, nothing too exciting. I have an amazing mother who has taught me everything and anything you could know about me. She is my best friend and my hero. Oh right, and she is gay. You see, there are things about me, and so many other people, that are beneath the surface of skin or tone of voice. I hate gay jokes, I hate the word faggot, I hate people who argue being gay is a “sinful choice in lifestyle,” and I hate when people assume I do not hate all those things, based on how I look and act. Oh, and another thing, I am as straight as they come, but that is COMPLETLEY beside the point.

According to the American Bar Association, there are between six and 10 million daughters and sons of lesbians, gay, and bisexual parents in the United States. So what is being done to accept these children from alternative families into the mainstream of society? The main problem isn’t with gay parents, it’s with the people in society that just cannot seem to accept that the family image is changing, and a definite lack of education about these families is the source of the prejudice. If people are confused about the facts, the facts need to be provided for them.

My mother and father were married for 13 years, and got divorced when I was about 10 years old. In my case, my mom didn’t believe in her true self until after she was married and had me (lucky for me I suppose). There are groups

all over the United States that support families like mine, and all different kinds of families too. COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) is the only national and international organization in the world specifically supporting young people with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender parents. The mission of this organization, taken from the website www.colage.org, states, “Our mission is to foster the growth of daughters and sons of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents of all racial, ethnic, and class backgrounds by providing education, support and community on local and international levels, to advocate for our rights and those of our families, and to promote acceptance and awareness that love makes a family.” This group provides several different types of support, education, and advocacy for gay and lesbian families on the national, regional, and even local levels.

Beth Teper, a chair on the board of directors and program associate for COLAGE, was born and raised in San Francisco by a lesbian feminist mother who came out when she was 10 years old. Teper speaks passionately about the outlets for the members that COLAGE offers. “There are pen pal programs, electronic discussions, and over 30 chapters of COLAGE across the country,” said Teper. “These opportunities are for any and all ages, if kids as young as 6 can read and write, they can get a pen pal.” Teper, who has worked for social, economic, and environmental justice for over 15 years, also explained that anyone who wants to join and be involved in any of the activities COLAGE offers can join at any time.

Teper graduated with a bachelor’s degree in sociology from Brandeis University and brings a strong background in education, grassroots action, and organizational development to her work with the board, as well as being an excellent example of what can come of an alternative family life. This is Teper’s sixth year on the Steering Committee/Board, seventh year as a member and volunteer for COLAGE. “We educate ourselves with a weekly

newsletter that is sent out to all members, net-news announcements, and offer lists of people that speak publicly to school and other organizations,” said Teper. “Not only that, but we work closely with the media and several of our members have been featured on 20/20, Newsweek, Teen Magazine, and others.”

“COLAGE also has a large advocacy part, which works to help with legal cases and also give testimony to advocate for rights on the legislative and congressional levels. That group specializes in working towards cases like domestic partnerships and same-sex adoptions,” said Teper.

About six young people who shared one commonality started COLAGE; they all were products of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community. They felt that their parents weren’t the only ones that needed support and a group to work together, so they started the “Just for Us” newsletter, which now serves over 4,000 people across this country and others. Then COLAGE was born.

It is groups like this that are beginning to show that the world can accept alternative families. There are also up and coming summer and day camps geared specifically for the gay community and their children. Camps like Camp Ten Trees and CampOUT have been established to make support groups and a haven for kids from alternative families.

It’s not just for these families. The more organizations that sprout across the country that accept these families and their children, the more society can’t shun them.

Camp Ten Trees, based out of Washington State near the Cascade Mountains, is a summer camp that, according to its website (www.camptentrees.org), “features one week for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth, and one week for the children of LGBT parents. At Camp Ten Trees, children and youth build self-confidence and strength in diversity in an environment which challenges homophobia and provides a range of traditional camp activities.” Debs Gardner, one of four co-directors for the camp, spoke about her new camp and how it will benefit many kids in the future.

“The four of us got together last January (2000) and started the camp last summer,” said Gardner. “For the first summer, we had a decent turn out, about 23 kids for the first week, where the age groups were from 8-15 years old, and about 26 kids to come to the second week, with the ages ranging from 13-18 years old.” The camp is currently working on training young counselors to add to the program, and expects to double the numbers this upcoming summer.

The camp is a basic summer camp, with the traditional activities of swimming, boating, arts and crafts, archery, singing, and a big end of the week campfire. However, they also initiate discussion to help the kids talk about their alternative families. “Those kinds of discussions don’t always occur from the structured time, the kids often talk about their situations on their own time,” said Gardner. Gardner spoke of one particular camper, a young boy, who told the group during dinner that when he told his friends his mom was a lesbian he “learned who his real friends were.” That is a very valuable lesson that the camp and other organizations like Camp Ten Trees hope to help kids learn.

Similar to Camp Ten Trees is CampOUT. CampOUT is farm/camp experience for kids from alternative families, for the

ages of 9-14 years old. Emmy Howe, the Family Liaison from the Cambridge (MA) Public School system to the Lesbian and Gay Community, helped found CampOUT in response to the need perceived when she entered her job four and a half years ago. “We make the kids comfortable in a normal setting,” said Howe. “But we also have a family quilt that we make every season and the kids can share whatever they want about their personal family situations.”

Groups like this can be unbelievably helpful to younger kids. I never had the chance to go to these programs, and although I never had serious issues with my mother’s coming out, I think it may have been interesting to meet other people with similar family situations as my own. The important thing is that there are a number of networks out there, and they are brimming over with support and information.