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“You can still seek and give support through the phone or e-mail, but there’s always a limit to that. There’s nothing to or that can replace having your partner to hold close or to snuggle with …your imagination can only take you so far,” said Burleson.

He explained further, “Most people turn to their partner as a principle source of comfort and emotional support, you know, somebody to talk to and get through the bad days with but all of this is made more difficult when in a long-distance relationship.”

Richard Huddleston agrees. He might be described as simply missing all the small things about his girlfriend. They talk every day for about a half an hour, but it’s not the same. He can’t just walk down the hall and see her. He can’t just call her and say, “Hey, I’m coming over.”

Although he has been engaged in this long-distance relationship for a little over a year now, he still just misses holding her hand. A junior at Cornell University, Huddleston admits that sometimes he just misses the feeling of having someone. “You know, that feel of having someone there. Sometimes it feels like you’re not really dating,” he explained.

He admits he has found it hard to adjust to having a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend. “My defense mechanism is to simply not think about it or to dwell on the fact that she is far away. I tend to detach myself and get pretty involved in my schoolwork and things on campus,” he said. And although his so-called “detaching” of all his feelings helps him to cope with the fact his girlfriend is several hundred miles away, she often times says that he is not there enough for her.

Since they don’t really talk about their relationship, Burleson finds it surprising that Huddleston and his girlfriend are still together. He strongly believes that couples need to maintain an on-going communication about the stresses and strains of their long-distance relationship. He warned, “No communication usually means the death of the relationship.”

Huddleston says that when they do see each other for those three or four weekends throughout the semester, things are somewhat weird. “I think it’s kind of hard to adjust to all of a sudden having her there. It’s hard for me to get settled,” said Huddleston. “I mean when we’re apart I get used to being on my own, so when we’re together again it takes some time for me to open up.” He says to imagine going from trying to feel nothing to feeling everything all within the matter of a few hours is overwhelming.

Although he loves his girlfriend, Huddleston admits that he is indeed missing out on the so-called college experience. “I think that I’m missing out. College after all is a prime opportunity to be dating and meeting all kinds of people,” he said. “I mean, I talk to my girlfriend for like a half an hour every day, but then the rest of the day I’m by myself, and it really makes me wonder.”

Though he sometimes wonders whether he’s missing out on the full college experience, he admits that the time he spends with his girlfriend lets him reflect on how perfect and how well she fits into his life. He admits, “I know I’m a unique person and I’m not easy. I don’t want to risk losing her.

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