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Losing A Special Friend

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By Kate Bernyk
Staff Writer
Snoopy was a little lost beagle my dad found near a dumpster when I was about 6 years old. From that day on, Snoopy was the best friend a girl growing up in New Jersey could have. This dog was at my side at all times, and was with me through the hardest things I have had to deal with in my life. But when he was about 10 years old, Snoopy came down with the most deadly type of cancer any living thing could get—advanced bone cancer. My dad and I were in shambles, and decided to give old Snoop a second chance by having his back leg amputated with hope that it would keep the cancer from spreading.

Picture this: My dad fresh home from the hospital from one of his many hip surgeries, Snoopy just back from getting his leg removed (all wrapped up in the plastic neck cone and all) and my father’s inability to admit he should not walk the dog. So there was my dad, walking down Woodpark Drive on one crutch, while also walking a three-legged dog. Neighbors would ask if a train hit them, and then take pictures. Unfortunately, both of them could not get all better. About three months later, Snoopy broke another leg in the backyard; a result of the bone cancer spreading. I stayed with him the whole time, probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I felt that he would have been there for me.

“But these feelings of guilt, depression, and sadness are not only feelings reserved for the loss of human beings; the loss of a close pet can be just as extremely upsetting as losing a close friend."

It is hard to lose a loved one, especially if it is someone that you are close to, like a family member or good friend. Many times, the love that you feel for the person you lost can make you extremely distraught and even depressed because the thought of living without them is unbearable. But these feelings of guilt, depression, and sadness are not only feelings reserved for the loss of human beings; the loss of a close pet can be just as extremely upsetting as losing a close friend.

Your pet becomes your best friend. He follows you around, waits for you to come home, and is always there for you when you need someone. These are the best qualities to ask for in a friend, and you can get them with a close pet. So when a pet becomes ill or dies from an accident, it can erupt emotions and feelings that need to be coped with.

There are specific ways to cope and strategies to follow when dealing with grief. There are also many organizations that are specifically there to help those with the grieving process. The Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) is a non-profit association, full of concerned people who are experienced and knowledgeable in the tender subject of pet death. The founder of this association, and author of "The Loss of a Pet" (Howell Book House, 1998), Wallace Sife, Ph.D., gives volumes of advice to grieving pet owners. “I wrote the book based on what I was looking for when I lost my dog,” said Sife. “Having two Ph.D.’s in psychology and not being able to handle the pain, I felt that something better was needed.”
Dr. Sife revised his book five years ago and received such a response that an informal association was created. “We would meet in libraries and private homes, and then when we decided to go online, it all exploded.” Dr. Sife's association now has about 400 members around the world. He has taken emergency calls and has served for a while as a one-person hotline for those who needed counseling. Not only has he counseled, but currently is he also training bereavement counselors. “I have worked on a curriculum and presented it last June, and hope to initiate an online class to take and be certified in bereavement counseling,” Dr. Sife said.

Dr. Sife has won several awards for his acclaimed book, but he also gets rewarded daily for the help he gives to those out there that come to his organization looking for help with the pain of loss. There are also several different hotlines and organizations available that specialize in mourning a lost pet. Contact the APLB or any local organization for help and guidance if you are experiencing grief from the loss of a pet.
Kate Bernyk is a junior political science major and journalism minor at The College of New Jersey. She is currently copy editor for The Signal and interned for National Journal's Congress Daily in Washington, D.C. last summer. She also plays for TCNJ women's Rugby Club.
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