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“In our own culture, we have often been thought to lack the necessary mechanisms and structures for helping the bereaved to cope with their loss. Our reactions in the West have often been thought to 'deny' death; we are seen as maintaining a 'stiff upper lip' attitude about it."

Therapists and counselors have come to recognize the importance of the bereavement process within the family, and the need for people to be aware of the intensity of feeling and the difficulties of adjustment it evokes. Bereavement involves a deep sense of shock. Those who experience it are often unable to come to terms with their loss and to make the necessary adjustments to their lives. Emotional responses to death can be unpredictable, therefore it is necessary for those caring for the bereaved to be sensitive to the reactions of those persons. Counselors and academics agree that such sensitivity needs to be balanced by encouraging the bereaved to accept the reality of the loss of the loved one. In most cases this occurs naturally over time, but for some, coming to terms with bereavement represents a particularly difficult transition, the nature of which may vary according to the manner in which the death has occurred.

Dr. Michael Andersen has focused on the child’s grief over losing a grandparent in his paper, Death in the Family, which can be found on the Newcastle Center for Family Studies Web site at http://www.ncl.ac.uk/ncfs. “Although they may not live in the same household, grandparents are commonly thought to dote on their grandchildren and 'spoil' them with favors and surprises, and not uncommonly to take their side in disputes with parents. This can lead to deep, trusting relationships that are suddenly ended by death,” says Dr. Anderson.

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